Citadel Servant FAQ
Congratulations on your purchase of the Citadel TM Boiler Motivated Servant. We are excited for you to exploit its strength, durability and warmth for all your domestic and industrial needs! The Citadel TM Boiler Motivated Servant is a non-living, mechanical construct designed to serve you. It has been built by the most skilled engineers, and enchanted with only the purest essences by skilled invokers. We guarantee your satisfaction! There are a few concerns that are common among our many satisfied customers. Because you, our customer, are an intelligent and discerning person, we admire your discernment. But please allow us to correct any misunderstandings so that you may enjoy your Citadel TM Boiler Motivated Servant to its fullest capacity. 1: "If the Citadel TM Boiler Motivated Servant is just a machine, then why do curative methods work to repair its damage? A healing spell has never repaired my sink before!" A fine question, and how clever you must be to think of it! Magic is mysterious and powerful, and so there are many details that cause this to occur. Rest assured that this effect is intended, and is the result of the Citadel TM Boiler Motivated Servant's consciousness protocol. By extracting essence from unintelligent life, your Servant has all the benefits of being alive, with none of the ethical drawbacks. 2: "I have heard that automatons can explode if damaged. Is it dangerous? Shouldn't there be a recall?" We are as concerned for you and your family's safety as you are! So rest assured we would never sell you a product that would put you in harm's way. We at Citadel TM guarantee you that your Boiler Motivated Servant is constructed with enough fortitude that you will never experience an explosion, if you follow all the instructions outlined in its manual. Section 46a Paragraph 14 of the manual states - Note that the essences leverage extra-dimensional forces to obey strict protocol, via delicate machinery within the Citadel TM Boiler Motivated Servant. If the boiler is significantly damaged, these essences will no longer be restricted to their machined purpose and may reject the motivation framework. Irresponsible damage to your property will void your Warranty, Citadel TM Boiler Motivated Servants under Warranty will never explode. 3: "The automaton keeps taking my things!" The Citadel TM Boiler Motivated Servant is designed to clean up your floors, and use any and all available tools to serve you better! To prevent misuse, it will only take tools that are left on the floor. So if you have anything you wish to use yourself, simply keep it in a container or on your person. 4. "I love my Citadel TM Boiler Motivated Servant so much! Is there a more powerful product to serve my cutting-edge industrial needs?" Citadel TM is your go-to source for the latest in industrial non-person servitude! Currently we at Citadel are prototyping a fleet of Luxury Servants hewn from only the most durable and powerful materials for our most discerning customers, with the greatest essence links. Given the strength of the essences used, we have a few kinks to work out before they can be certified for distribution. New features include a high-impact mining limb, and fool-proof structural integrity. Thank you for your purchase of the Citadel TM Boiler Motivated Servant, and we urge you to enjoy the life of luxury it empowers you with. -Your Friends at Citadel Category:Books Category:Automaton